Though there is a general view of what friendship entails, it doesn’t stop at that. Friend could equally be viewed from a personal point of view: holding varying connotations, interpretations and perceptions according to the individuals involved. To me I would call someone a friend if he or she puts in efforts, time and energy to sustain such friendship that exists between us.
Friendship could exist in different dimensions as: friend with benefit, mutual friend, and close friend or otherwise. Therefore the underlying fact remains that we have friends for different conscious or unconscious reasons.
Personally, friendship can be exhausting and tiring to continuously keep up with: I find it quite challenging to keep up with the few friends I have, therefore I have come to prefer few friends to many friends.
Fundamentally my reasons are attached to the environment I grew up in, and my biological traits, which have invariably affected my personality. According to psychologists; our personalities loosely fall within these three identified categories, namely; extraversion, ambiversion and introversion. From my research and observations I see myself as an introvert. And as an introvert i feel less comfortable seeking the company of others; rather I love to spend time alone, busying myself with my few interests and hobbies. It’s not always a case of wanting to be alone all the time, but a case of wanting to spend most of my time alone. This is largely because, like other introverts I get drained from constantly engaging and associating with people (family, friends, relatives, colleagues or otherwise). Therefore I deliberately and in-deliberately seek private/alone time to help re-calibrate my senses and pull myself together. Psychologists say the brain of an introvert doesn’t go down well with excess stimulations from external world or environment. As an introvert I seek genuine and close friendship in place of casual or mutual friendship. Being introverted, I’ve become more in-tune with having a few close friends that I can easily relate with and keep a close relationship with.
Having few or fewer friends makes it easier for me to engage and keep up with their progress and lives, and make contributions and sacrifices when needed. For me this is what defines a friend. And it is easier for me to exhibit this when I have few friends.
Having few friends makes me feel a sense of connection and belonging, knowing that I I’m not lost in the crowd of too many friends…who might exhibit ephemeral and superficial care or concern for themselves, and would be found wanting when they are needed the most.
With too many friends I find it difficult to keep up, and share the deep sense of connection I would naturally yearn to experience.
Too many friends would keep me passive, and make me feel isolated; as I do not possess the natural mental stamina to keep up with them.
In addition fewer friends help me observe and sieve through the positive and negative traits inherent in them.
Personally, it’s not simply a case of preferring a few friends, but also present is the natural inclination or proclivity of me having few friends.