Originally answered by Urowayino Warami on Vangaurd.
Dear, Bunmi, My husband and I are happy in our marriage. We have two little girls and a satisfactory sex life.
Lately, however, I’ve found myself fantasizing about other men, particularly my husband’s closest friend. He’s recently been separated from his wife and I find myself thinking about him all the time.
I even become jealous when he talks about women he fancies. Is this a symptom of deeper problems in my marriage?
I’m thinking of having a bite of this particular forbidden fruit! Yinka, By e-mail. Dear Yinka, Your wandering eyes are not at all unusual, it is completely normal.
As a matter of fact, the most virtuous, faithful, pure-minded woman can’t control her thought and lust all of the time because part of a woman’s make-up is a very strong sex drive. Don’t, under any circumstance, let guilt pressure you into irrational, possibly damaging actions, including your jumping into bed with this man simply because you find him sexually appetizing! Whatever you do, don’t tell your husband about your attraction to other men or give him any reason to suspect you’re lusting after one.
It would be irksome to both of you if he became anxious or jealous because of your revelations. It would certainly disrupt his relationship with his friend. Any flirting between you and your husband’s friend must be kept under control. It is natural for you to warm to him and enjoy his affection, but know where to draw the line. Warmth between two people does not have to end in sex.